Wednesday, June 4, 2014

I am who I am

This is something that I honestly think about all of the time! Now that I am an adult I can truthfully say that I am happy in my own skin most of the time. Yeah I have a lot of stuff that I will always be working on, but I am happy to be me. That doesn't meant that I don't get caught up sometimes, and wish that I had someone's awesome car, or another girl's super fit body. I'm human, and I want and wish for things, BUT they key is that I don't want to change myself to be like someone else. I am who I am, quirks and all!
Those who know me and love me simply accept me for who I am, and they don't try to change me. I think back to when I was in high school, and how insecure I was. I wanted to be accepted, and I wanted people around me to like me. I often felt like I wasn't good enough, and I wanted to be like other girls. I wanted to be more outgoing, friendly, and brave. Instead I was shy and reserved, and had a hard time leaving my comfort zone. I can see now that I simply wasn't sure of just who I was at the time. I was still becoming "me" if you will, and I was trying to put the puzzle together. I am even now putting the puzzle together, and I know that I will continue to do this for the rest of my life. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I can strive to be the best "me" that I can be.

Even to this day I will see a new trend, and I think oh man I better start doing "insert trend" too! Why oh why I think this way I will never know. I still worry way too much about what others think of me, and I think that is why I feel like I need to keep up with those around me, so to speak. I worry that people will judge the way I dress, my weight, my interests, my choices etc. I want everyone to like me and I want to make everyone happy, but guess what?! It's impossible! I have to constantly remind myself that I can just be me, and if someone else doesn't like it then that's okay. I have recently been worrying about my blog (silly I know). I blog often and I am an open book. I have worried if I am sharing too much, if I am boring, if I make sense, but then I realize that this blog is for me and I can do with it whatever I want. If I want to turn it into a fitness  blog, then I can. A mommy blog? Sure! If I want to focus on fashion, I can do that as well. The possibilities are endless, and it is my choice.

 Now that I am a mom,  I feel like I think about these kinds of things more than ever before. I want my daughter to grow up to be a confident and happy young woman. I want her to love herself and see her worth. I want her to feel secure in who she is and what she has been taught. I know that if I am a good example of these things, then she will likely become a more confident woman who doesn't feel the need to follow others to feel that her worth is great.

Now that I have spilled my guts on that subject, let my tell you a bit about my day yesterday :)

Vernal seriously has the best weather in the summer, and I can't get enough of it! I am a super cold person most of the time, so when it gets HOT, I love it! The only exception to this is when I am running ha, so I try to run pretty early. Yesterday I only had time to squeeze in a short run for my cardio, but it was better than nothing. I sometimes struggle with feeling like I am not doing enough, but I remind myself that there is always room for improvement, and I just need to keep trying and setting goals for myself :)
 Rose got to visit with her Aunt Sam yesterday, and she loved it! I have not seen Rose talk that much to someone in a long time. She was going on and on in her cute little squeaky voice. I LOVED it!
 Rosalie got all ready to go out for the night. Isn't it funny how after you have a baby you spend all of the time getting them ready, and you are lucky to look half decent when you head out the door? I spend 99% of my time trying to make sure that Rose is cute, and then realize that I should probably be presentable ha! Hence the bun on the top of my head and the minimal makeup! Rose sure looks cute though, even if she is blurry ha.
 We went to watch our little nephew's baseball game, and it was fun! The poor little guy got hit in the knee when he was catcher, but he was tough about it, and got up to bat in the next inning. Rose was showered with love as usual, and was a happy little thing. 
 Can you believe that his little cutie was exactly 4 months old yesterday?! I sure can't! She is going in for her 4 month check up this week, so I will do an update :) I don't think her nurses and her doctor are even going to recognize her because she grown and changed so much!
 Watching these two makes my heart melt! Rosalie loves her daddy so much, and she loves talking to him. I am so appreciative of having a husband who works so hard for his family each and every day. This guy may not be taking classes right now, but he is still studying for the GRE despite his LONG work days! He is truly amazing, and Rosalie and I are blessed to have him in our lives.
 We went over to my sister-in-laws house after the game, and had a good time. Being with family + good weather = a great evening! These two little munchkins in the picture have their birthday party today, and I am pretty excited to go to that :) Kids are seriously the best!

How often do you get to see your family?
Have you ever struggled with being yourself?

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